Burn the Haystack: Decode Dating, Torch the Duds, and Make Room for Men Who Matter

ISBN: 0063447576

Author: Young PhD, Jennie

Condition: New

Its time for a dating revolution!How do you find a needle in a haystack? You burn the haystack to the ground.Among Dr. Jennie Youngs legion of fans, the needle is a long-term, committed partner and the haystack is the group of men available to date. So often women are advised to give the guy a chance, to take seriously men whose app bios tell women not to take themselves seriously. Youngs refreshing approach to online dating turns this advice on its head: Give almost no one a chance.A professor of feminist rhetoric, Young teaches people how to decode the hidden meanings in ordinary communication. Fascinated (and frustrated) by the rhetorical gambits she saw in mens profiles when she first downloaded a dating app, she created Burned Haystack to help other women navigate the nonsense and find their needles.Young has revolutionized the dating lexicon by identifying common toxic rhetorical patterns in mens messaging, such as:Test and Apologize: He texts some sexual innuendo, then apologizes before you caneven respond. Hes testing if youll be okay with being objectified. The test is real; the apology isnt. Disciplinary/Directive: He uses his dating app profile to lay down the law with women, which usually turns into abuse down the road. Understanding this pattern will help you disengage from this guy before he ruins your life. Blue Ribbon for Bare Minimum: He opens his bio with I will never hit you (shockingly common) or brags about basic adult life skills such as having a job or washing his sheets. Things dont improve from here.Youngs engaging system empowers readers to sort through profiles quickly and effectively, preserving both time and sanity. And with its blend of scathing humor and academic rigor, Burn the Haystack is so much more than a dating tool-it gives women the skills to break down communication from the classroom to the boardroom and everywhere in between, and the confidence to approach life with a deeper, more powerful level of understanding.