The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love

ISBN: 0593852745

Author: Fehr LMFT LMHC, Colette Jane

Condition: New

An empowering, healing guide that reveals the true cost of avoidant behavior in a relationship-disconnection, disengagement, and divorce-and shows how we can instead learn to speak up and start connecting with the ones we love most.I wish I had spoken up sooner."People think relationships fail because of deal breakers like infidelity, finances, or parenting problems. But the real culprit is often much less dramatic: emotional disconnection after years of staying silent and avoiding conflict. Were afraid to say what we need because we worry about what will come next.Avoidant behavior-the need to keep the peace rather than dealing with conflict head on-isnt our fault. Our ingrained attachment wiring urges us to sidestep day-to-day disputes and brush lingering problems under the rug. But silence is a losing proposition in the long term, leading us to self-abandon and essentially quiet quit our relationships.We can make another choice. In The Cost of Quiet, licensed marriage and family therapist Colette Jane Fehr shines a light on the epidemic of avoidant behavior and how to overcome it. Drawing from the latest attachment science and evidence-based therapies shes used to repair the bond between hundreds of couples, Fehr gives us the tools to approach those we love with openness, honesty, and vulnerability. The ultimate goal: a securely attached relationship that engages with conflict productively, and the confidence that comes from speaking up and being heard-because a good relationship is worth fighting for.