Who Am I? How Did I Get this Way?

ISBN: 075967616X

Author: Spear, D.O. Joseph E.

Condition: New

Effects of the Limiting Triad(Triad = Very Self Centered Parents, Double Bind, The Need for Miserable Feelings)If you grew up experiencing one or more 'legs' of the Limiting Triad:- it is not permissible for you to be who and what you really are. - It is not permissible for you to have your own feelings and have them respected.. - It is not permissible for you to have your own desires and strive to fulfill them. - It is not permissible for you to have your own personality. - It is not permissible for you to do what you want to do. - It is not permissible for you to enjoy what you want to enjoy. - It is not permissible for you to be happy.- It is not permissible for you to be calm and peacefulThe 'you' that you are, the real you, must be kept hidden. Then you act out the role dictated by the parental figure. This is almost always the dominant parental figure.If you are a child growing up in an atmosphere of narcissistic parenting and double binds, what is permissible is for you to be: ' the way I want you to be, think, feel and act. Even though the verbal and non-verbal commands I give you may be impossible to do, you are to do them any way.'The narcissistic parent communicates both verbally and non-verbally to the child not only what is expected, but demanded, and often violently enforced. In every instance it will be limitation and acting a role. Being unreal. And if that limitation is not obeyed, it will be met with pain-inflicting actions; if not physically, definitely emotionally. The child raised in Double Binds is 'between a rock and a hard place.' 'Damned if I do and damned if I don't.' Where the adult can refuse to follow either or both of conflicting orders, the child is trapped. S/he needs the parental figure to supply the necessities of life. The child is well aware that if the parental figure chooses not to do so, the child will die. Not only are those things which maintain physical survival important, but the child, on some level knows it also needs